Becoming a therapist

Have you ever wondered why someone becomes a therapist? Most will tell you they wanted to help people in some way, and while that’s true for many, my reasons for becoming a therapist feels like  a departure from the norm. Confession time: I used to hate therapists. I hated therapy when I was younger.  Hated. It. With a passion. I went through more therapists than I could count. I didn’t like a single one. 
By the time I was a teenager, I was burned out from therapists who were well intended, but not very good at engaging me. I was 15 and trying to find an outlet for my emotions, and I (very) begrudgingly gave therapy one more try.  About seven sessions in, something clicked, and I stayed in therapy for years to come. And thank goodness, because it was a life saver. Everything I thought I hated about therapy no longer applied, thanks to one wonderful therapist’s endless compassion, patience, persistence. Flash forward twenty years and I found myself finally admitting to myself that I wanted to help people the way my therapist helped me. I spent a long time trying to deny this was what I wanted to do given my early history hating therapy. But I took the plunge and quickly realized I found my passion in life.

It was not until I was in graduate school that I realized why I hated therapy as a child. The therapy I hated was focused on worksheets, homework, and rigid interventions. The therapy that saved me focused on the relationship between me and my therapist. It was this type of therapy that gave me a future I never anticipated. I never thought I would become a social worker, much less a therapist. But I realized I wanted to help people avoid what I had experienced as a child.  

I often tell clients I am here to pull back the curtain on therapy.  Therapy often seems shrouded in mystery. You go tell a therapist your problems for 50 minutes a week and *poof* life is solved?  Absolutely not. Therapy is ultimately about realizing how to be in a relationship with someone who is safe. That is easier said than done for most clients. The therapeutic relationship is a place to learn how to set and respect boundaries. It’s a place to learn to communicate how you feel when a therapist might unintentionally hurt your feelings. It’s a place to feel safe enough to make relational mistakes. It’s safe to get mad at your therapist, it’s safe to see your therapist as an ally, and it’s even safe to be frustrated or annoyed by your therapist. 

Therapists are trained to carefully manage their own baggage in therapeutic relationships, and so the messy, sometimes painful, ways of being in a relationship can be safely unpacked and examined in the context of therapy. You can explore why you are the way you are in your friendships, intimate relationships, with your kids, and even with your family of origin. When a person learns new ways of being in a relationship in the context of therapy, they can then take it into their everyday relationships and set boundaries, practice assertive communication, and perhaps even let go of relationship patterns that do more harm than good.
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Perhaps you’ve had a string of bad experiences in therapy, or maybe you’ve thought that therapy just isn’t for you. I would invite you to challenge yourself and consider there is still hope for healing. You never know when you might find the therapist that changes your perspective, as one did mine. Therapists are not magical and they are not perfect, and they are definitely not all bad. We are just ordinary people, willing to sit with other humans wherever they are in life and walk alongside them, full of compassion, and without judgement. We’re here to get messy, we are here to celebrate the highs and help you keep moving through the lowest lows. The change, growth, and healing is in the relationship, and that is what matters most.

If you’re ready to try therapy for the first time, or to begin again, feel free to contact Brittany, for an initial consultation by sending her an email her or click link below

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